Barf Blog!

This weekend Georgia was hit with the dreaded sickness bug. That’s right, all parents send your sympathy this way- a sicky toddler is truly horrific!

It all started in the middle of the night on Sunday. Bugs always have to start in the most dramatic way possible. They never start in the middle of the day with a bit of warning and a few chuck ups in the toilet. No, they have to start at 2am, with a sick filled bed, sick filled toddler and sick splattered walls. Not only did this mean stripping sheets and cleaning at an ungodly hour; it also meant spending the rest of the night in the spare room with Georgia. Urgh! Hats off to anyone who manages co sleeping. Toddlers move SO much! Through the night I was kicked constantly in the back, elbowed in the face, pushed and shoved. All while trying to get as far away from the ticking germ bomb next to me and breathe the fresh, healthy air on the other side. Jeez, I thought sharing a bed with Danny was bad!

We somehow managed to make it till 6am. Georgia happily exclaimed it was time for Peppa Pig, sat up, then started retching. This time I was prepared. I scooped her up, ran to the bathroom and practically threw her over the sink. Then, in the most loving way possible, I pushed her head away from me while she threw up the entire contents of her stomach and cried for a cuddle. Of course my heart broke for her, there’s nothing worse than seeing your baby in pain and upset. But, at the same time, I really didn’t want her to be sick in my face.

And so started our day of quarantine. The thing is, looking after a sick toddler is like looking after a tiny drunk person. They alternate between singing baby shark as loud as they possibly can and throwing up, all in a matter of seconds (for the record, I’m not sure which is worse either). This was all while trying to keep Georgia from getting too close to Neve. Trying to explain that we need to prevent the spreading of germs to a three year old is not easy. Georgia’s logic was ‘I promise I will not be sick in her mouth mummy’ and everything will be dandy! Luckily Neve had the sense to nap in her cot most of the day and keep well away…

Once Georgia had finally realised that she felt better laying on the sofa, rather than jumping up and down on the bed or scootering around the house, I could finally start cleaning! I’m not someone who normally relishes the thought of cleaning; I haven’t bought into the whole zoflora craze. But, I’m a bit hygiene obsessed, especially when it comes to sickness. And so started the battle; me vs the germs. This was a battle I was determined to win. Armed with my ally ( dettol) I began. I literally dettoled everywhere: Georgia’s mattress, books, curtains, every single door handle, cupboard handle and light switch in the house. You name it, I dettoled it! Hell, I even considered drinking the dettol! I opened every single window in the house, mid November (Neve just wore her coat indoors). I even washed both of Georgia’s snuggles, at the same time leaving her snuggleless for a couple of hours. NOT the funnest hours!

Tired and weary, I sat down, awaiting Danny’s return home. As I heard the door click, my heart soared. Finally I would have some help. My saviour was here. He walked in, then, with puppy dog eyes and the best ‘I’m sick voice’ he could muster, he told me his nose was starting to hurt and he was getting a cold. Well what fucking good timing! Man flu had officially struck! Sympathetic wife I was not! Not only had I just degermed the whole house, my hopes of help had just been royally pissed on. My response was not showering him with affection and sympathy; it was giving him my best death stare and stating: ‘You must be fucking kidding me’.

To give Danny his due, his sniffles have turned into quite a nasty cold and he hasn’t dared be too much of a man about it. He reacted well to my ‘you must be fucking kidding me,’ and has helped as much as he can. Georgia only took a day to get over it and is now her normal funny, sassy, energetic self.

Now I’m awaiting my impending doom of catching the sickness bug or man flu from my germ infested family! Wish me luck!